Facebook Etiquette: Strategy, Common Sense & Courtesy

Facebook has gained so much popularity for finding and reconnecting with “long lost” friends, family members and colleagues – while for others, it’s become a living, breathing social nightmare because they didn’t understand – or know how to approach Social Media in the first place.

All you have to really understand is that people use Facebook for many different reasons. Some use it to connect with those “long lost friends,” while others use it to move themselves forward in their respective business ventures. Some combine business and pleasure. Then, there’s the people who thinks Facebook’s a popularity contest and they set about to “collect” as many people as possible so they feel better about themselves.

The most important thing to know is that YOU determine how you want to use Facebook – then YOU get to decide whether or not you’ll accept friendship requests from people you know – or don’t know.

If you’re on Facebook to network with like-minded people through the “friend finder” – you’ll increase your chances of someone accepting your friend request if you take the time to type a short message to say “hi,” and why you’d like them to accept you.

If you’re on Facebook to connect with those long lost friends and family members – take the time to type them a short note. If you’re a gal, they may not be able to identify you with a “different” last name if you’re married now. And boy does everyone change in 10, 20 or 30 years – they may not recognize you from high school, until they pull out the yearbook and look for your name. So, make it easy for them. Get the picture? It’s really no different than picking up the phone and saying “Hi, how are you, remember me from high school” or going to a networking event, and saying “Hi, it’s nice to meet you…” It’s just plain old common courtesy.

Out of all the social platforms, I believe that Facebook is a great deal more intimate than Twitter, Friendfeed, Linked In or Plaxo just to name a few. That said there are certain things to keep in mind when you use this platform.

7 “Common Sense” Tips To Keep In Mind On Facebook:

1. Reserve friending on Facebook to people you know, like and trust. Facebook is not a popularity contest.
2. If someone doesn’t respond to your friend request – don’t take offense. They’ve simply established their own reasons for using Facebook and are sticking with it.
3. Every comment you post on the wall is public – if you need to vent, whatever you vent probably will get back to someone, someday.
4. Use Facebook’s Direct Message feature to share personal information such as phone numbers, addresses etc… or when you feel the need to do some major big time venting one-on-one or with a small group of friends.
5. Type the way you talk, but be mindful of your tone. Some people may not be able to tell if you’re joking or being sarcastic. (Sometimes very difficult to translate in the written word)
6. Watch your language, and your content – especially if you’ve friended younger users. The internet and your friends have the memory of an elephant. Everything you say and post online is being archived – forever. Not to mention the fact that what you do and say is also a reflection of your personal brand. If you type in all caps – that’s the same as shouting online. Take it down a peg. It becomes really annoying to other readers.
7. Don’t friend other people’s friends unless you know them – this has given many of my female friends the “creeps” – especially if the request is coming from a guy. (Do I need to tell you that these repeat violators are no longer on my friends list – didn’t think so)

Photos, Photo-Tagging and Post-Tagging

This is another place where common sense prevails:

1. Never upload pictures or tag friends in photo’s that could get them into trouble.
2. If you’re not sure whether to post a compromising photo – don’t! Be considerate!
3. If someone untags themselves in a picture – respect their decision. Hey, they may not think it was the most flattering picture of them, or they’re just plain not comfortable in sharing their lives openly with others – yet!
4. Do tag people in your posts when you’d like to thank, or mention them in a complimentary post. Public acknowledgement is always a good thing.
5. Know that when you “post tag a photo” or “photo tag a post,” the same post will also appear on the “tagged” person’s wall.

To Post Tag: Type @ First Name and wait for a drop down menu of your friends to appear – choose the fried you want to tag, then add the next.

To Post tag a photo – go to the photo album. Click on the person’s face and choose the friend or friends one at a time from your drop down menu.

Of course, we’ve seen it all. People tagging people in posts, or pictures that have absolutely nothing to do with them – or the post. They’ve done it for one simple reason: more exposure. Well, you can probably get away with that if you do it sporadically, but remember – your friends are the one’s who are in control of their space – not you. If you post too many times in a day… or start ranting about stuff that turns them off – All they have to do is click delete – and “poof” you’re gone from their list forever.

The Bottom Line: There’s absolutely no substitute for manners, common sense and courtesy in the virtual world. Game on! Have fun with Facebook!